Salty's Smarts Mtn Trip Reports

3 with the brains of a sugar Cube, but Brian got the Smarts

5 ½ weeks without hiking. Ooof. Planning vacation, vacation, recovering from vacation. This relaxing stuff is really cutting into my hiking. From the moment I saw Kearsarge on the drive home I was super-antsy to get out, especially with the great clear weather we’ve had. Smarts has long been on my hit list. It’s on the 3k list, it’s supposed to have great views, and that it’s only about an hour away from my house, and nowhere near I-93 is a nice change. I had planned to head up this past Sunday, seeing nothing but sunny skies in the forecast all the way up to Saturday night, where, alas, it was now supposed to be cloudy, windy, and a chance of snow. #@*&^#@$! Nuh-uh. I wanted a perfect day for this mountain, and Wednesday was going to be the day to deliver that.

This would be a day of getting to know my gear, getting to know all about my gear. I finally got a pack worthy of a winter dayhike (meaning, the sleeping bag could finally go IN the pack), but now this raised some issues. It was supposed to be quite warm. For winter, I’m used to having a lot and clothes coming OUT of my pack, today, clothes would certainly be going in. There was no room with my super-thick wool sweater, sleeping bag, and outer shell. Something needed to go. Bye bye shell. I still had enough for a comfortable bivy if need be. I’m not used to this weird transition season where I can’t go heavy nor go light. Truth be told, though, in the end it wasn’t exactly light.

The trailhead for the Lambert Ridge (part of the AT) and Ranger Trails lies on Dorchester Rd. in Lyme, which in its upper reaches is a dirt road. There was some serious washboarding and some muddy spots, but the road was easily passable. The trailhead is hard to miss, with a kiosk right next to the road and a decent sized parking area. I decided on the Lambert Ridge Trail on the way up, mainly because it promised views quickly. I’d take the Ranger Trail down. So, up I went at a leisurely 9 AM, finding hardly any snow for a while, quite the pleasant change! The trail goes up moderately right away, leaving me wondering just how out of shape I was. Five minutes in, off came the fleece. Ten minutes later, the shirt came off., leaving the undershirt. This would be my dress for the entire day, and given the polypro longjohns and insulated snow pants, I was quite hot by the PM. I was something I’m not usually accused of --- overdressed.

After the initial climb, the trail moderates, and in less than an hour I came to the first ledge. A nice little view of the Dartmouth Skiway and Killington, and I knew it was going to be a spectacular day. I had a big stupid perma-grin on my face. Moving on up to the next ledge gave even better views. I hung out here for about 20 minutes, taking in the scenery. The first thing I noticed was a mountain with a steep side near the summit. “I don’t know what it is, but I definitely want to climb that!” Well, as it turned out, I later found out it was Cardigan. And I was hoping it was something I hadn’t climbed. Kearsarge was plainly evident here, too, as the shape of the mountain practically in my backyard is firmly implanted in my head.

Onward, onward ho. I started hitting some icy spots and for the first time ever, on went the Microspikes. I felt wobbly at first on the bare sections, but they did nicely in everything else but sheer ice. There were a number of sections that had to be skirted due to this. I thought about crampons, but with all the bare sections I was running over, it didn’t seem like the best choice.

Today was also a weird day. I always think I’m slow, worried I’m don’t have the stamina, and never very hungry. Today, I felt strong and was quite hungry, even after breakfast. I was drinking a lot more than usual too. Hmmm, I was doing things “right” for a change. I’ve had bad days, and clearly today, I was having a very good day.

There’s another steepish section before the ridge, and then a nice long ridge walk. These are beautiful, very open woods in these parts. Occasional views came and went, and along the way yet another ledge with a view right at the summit. Why do they always look so far away?! I finally got bored with the ridge walk, and was happy to start ascending again. I knew after the junction of the Ranger Trail, it would get pretty steep, and that’s what was delivered. There was one long section of ice I was dreading dealing with on the way down. After what seemed like not too long, I could see one of my favorite sights, sky nearly horizontal to me all the way around. I was near the summit plateau.

I was feeling quite leisurely today, another unusual event. I think the Osceola hike with (cue eerie music) other people really helped to adjust my pace, and has made it all the more enjoyable. So first thing to check out was the privy, which really wasn’t all that privious. It does have some of the best views of any crapper I’ve ever seen though, and hey, that’s gotta be worth an extra poop or two. As a bonus, there are bath toys, a shower (head), and a curtain rod, complete with hangers. Next to check out the tent platform, but alas, no tent platform found. Must still be under the snow. Looks like some good views to wake up to, though. Moving on, I almost missed the tower. Don’t know how, but I happened to glance up to see this monster to the left. I was for some reason under the impression Smarts was bare, but ‘tis not, ‘tis quite scrubby. Thank you O Great Tower. I shall climb thee with great appreciation of thy marvelous construction.

And so, my brain said to my legs “Climb!” My legs let my brain know that this was quite a steep climb, and they’d really rather not do any more climbing, seeing as the brain had led them to believe they had summitted. My brain ignored my complaints and commanded the legs to kept climbing. Having the nice brain that I do, though, it did allow for a couple short stops before my legs revolted and ran off with the shower head. The legs almost had the last laugh, though, as the tower door will not hold open on its own, and said brain could’ve easily been knocked out of commission, giving said legs a much needed rest.

Then I looked. And looked. And looked. The views were nothing short of stellar. Washington and Moosilauke were readily evident. Cardigain, Kearsarge, Killington as previously seen. I grabbed my binoculars and started ticking off peaks. Layfayette, Lincoln, Flume (and Liberty I think), Bondcliffs, Carrigain, the Trypyramids and a few more I could ID later from the pictures. Several mountains in Vermont, they were all there in crystal clarity. Shazam. I could not have picked a better day, and there was only a light breeze to top it off.

I stayed there for about an hour checking out the views and taking pictures. Finally, I decided I had seen all there is to see and headed down, now even more mindful of not bonking myself with that door. Next stop was the cabin practically next door. It was cabiny enough, with a little wash basin and little else save for upside down empty cans of tuna tied to the posts, with the string running through it tied to a stick underneath. OK, so what are these things for??? It looked like a perch for something who likes to be under a tuna can.

Well, time to go down, and I had good reason to dread the ice section I went over on the way up. I was hanging on to trees for dear life trying to reach crusty snow, but once that was done, it was a piece of cake back to the Ranger Trail. I was getting quite warm now. I trounced off down the Ranger Trail, wanting to see new sights, and was pleased it was nicely tracked, and still pretty firm. Then things just kept going (ahem) downhill from there. First, the Ranger Trail seems to favor going right through a brook bed, at least that’s how it is right now. Partly snow covered, partly running water. This was merely annoying. Next add in lower elevation, high temps., and there you have it slippery mucky snow. This too was merely annoying at first, so I had 2*annoying.

I reached the warden’s garage, and the stream there was about 4 short rock steps across and pretty simple. I rested here, actually feeling a little pooped. Time for more food. After a nice rest, and forgetting my annoyance, off I head in my usual downhill superpace, and quickly remembered what had been annoying me ever so much. Now it was getting worse, more water to either walk through or around, and now my feet were constantly slipping out to the side from me due to the unevenness in the trail. This was no longer merely annoying, it had now reached aggravating. The odd curse slipped from my lips, for alas, I had only seen 3 people earlier, all on the ridge trail, and the curse only fell on cold, deaf and uncaring snow and water.

Fine. Be that way. Time for snowshoes. Goodbye spikes, you have served me well. This was much better, I was now cruising along no longer caring, splashing about, just wanting to be out of the woods at that point. Hey whoa! Stupid snowshoe slipped off. I’ve occasionally had this problem with these danged things. They were a gift. A well-intended gift, but well, not the best gift. OK, buckled them back on, and hip, hip, hip and away I go. 5 minutes later, same thing. Grrrrr. 5 minutes later, again. And on and on. This was no longer aggrevating, this was flat out making me outright P.O’ed. Curses, long and strong, flew mightily from my mouth, daring anyone within hearing distance (the census of which being exactly zero) to contradict the shoddiness of my stuff, the snow, the water, and all else that tormented me! Ah, from such highs to such lows does the Salty go. So I did what any sensible person who has lost their mind would do. I took off the shoes and carried them, because at that point, it was less than a mile to the trailhead, and I had had it with putting on that pack over and over.

Slipping here, sliding there, melting snow dripping on my hands with only one focus. The car. After what seemed like the amount of time it takes me to write up on of these TR’s, I came to the car. My lovely car. My beautiful car. I looked back up the Ranger Trail to see nothing but a good stream running down it. Why didn’t I see this in the morning? It had to be running, and at least the bare ground should have been a clue. Argh. I curse you Ranger Trail. I have been informed you are an emergency route for the brave ones, but to me you should only be of that use.

Now that I got that over with, I almost went into a ditch pulling out of the lot because I wasn’t paying attention and the mud was slick, and then just down the road almost decided to go back in the woods because I was doing a whopping 19 mph and the mud was (amazingly…) still slick. I forgot sometimes how much fun mud on frozen earth is. The only other thing of note is I found around mile 82 on I-91, you can see Washington.

I’ve heard some people camp in the tower, which is do-able. I can only imagine the sights you’d see, but personally I wouldn’t recommend it unless you like lots of company. I can imagine lots of visitors from the cabin checking things out at night, and wanting to see the sunrise (oh.. say… someone like me). This is definitely one mountain I’d like to overnight at.

Despite my troubles, the Ranger Trail did not take away from that the Lambert Ridge Trail is a great trail for getting views quick, and Smarts has some of the best views around. Jason Berard has told me that the J Trail is good for its moderate grades and beautiful spruce/fir forest. Whatever way, if you haven’t, CLIMB THIS MOUNTAIN!